The “Not Enough” Syndrome
Advertising is designed to make you feel small and inadequate. Essentially dislike who you are so that you will buy their product to make you feel big and adequate. “I can give you something that will make you feel like the powerful, self-assured and radiant being that you know is the truth about who you are. But you need ‘this’ to feel this way.” Today, everywhere you turn something is telling you what will make you happier – this car – this hair do – this healthy food – being part of ‘this’ activist group – these exercises – this way of living life – from materialistic entrepreneurship to ‘save the planet’ entrepreneurship.
Each advertisement speaks to some aspect of human need, and touches on different aspects of truth, such as the desire to love and be loved; feeling vitally alive and abundant is also natural, as is our innate desire to care for our planet. It’s, of course, the underlying motivation of an advertisement that I call to question. ‘You ‘need’ to buy, (fill in the blank)______, or do________ to make you feel good about the person you are.’ Advertising – and remember, advertising is everywhere – is designed is designed to make you feel that:
You are not good enough
You do not have enough
You don’t do enough.
These messages are meant to appeal to underlying feelings of – shame, discontent, loneliness – ‘my life isn’t exciting enough.’ Leaving people even more vulnerable to the concoction of confusion society throws out as ‘truths’. Be it through the media, education, politics, medicine, right down to social ethics. The most important question remains: What in fact is true for You!
If we lived in a culture whose primary ethic from birth was to support the emergence of the full potential of each individual; a culture that valued fairness, kindness, co-operation, love, peace and a sense of place and purpose within the larger community, I would not be writing this article. But we don’t.
These patterns of discontent are nurtured in us at a very early age. Even some religions teach of ‘original badness’. We then apply these beliefs about ourselves to every area of our lives. Even though we at The Living Centre have given our lives to conscious living and walking with lightness, joy and purpose in our lives, how often we catch ourselves feeling that – ‘We are not doing enough, do not have enough to accomplish our mission, or are not adequate to the needs of the land or the people who look to us for guidance.’ These patterns are deep and we have all been born into them. So what is to be done? The first step, I believe, is recognizing these cultural patterns, then scrutinizing every part of our lives to see where they hold power over us. The next step is where the adventure begins. If you are reading this article you likely sense that, as Charles Eisenstein says, there is a ‘More beautiful world our hearts know is possible.’ What is this beautiful world and how to live it?
We must take time to reflect upon these things if anything is going to change. If the first thing that comes up for you, when I say this, is ‘I want to but don’t have the time’, then likely you are thinking from ‘not enough’ mindset. It’s really a mattter of choice. ‘Yeh sure Lorenna, you’re a grandmother, not a working mom with 2 children and a mortgage. Where’s the time.’ My question is – Where is ‘not’ the time. To move out of this paradigm or story of ‘not enough’ is no easy task. I know from constant personal experience. It takes blissapline (isn’t this a great word), determination, trust, courage and a good community of like-minded people to create the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible. Here are a few tips for creating space and clarity.
Eat organic healthy foods. Stay away from junk as it clouds your mind and emotions. The higher quality your diet, the clearer you are to make the choices that prevent you from wasting time. If you eat meat know its source. We are energetic beings. The energy in the food you are eating enters you and becomes part of you, just as the physical food has.
Regular practices are essential in my life – movement processes to keep my body/heart/mind fluid, aerobic for strength and vitality and your form of meditation that creates the inner space for reflection and the receiving of inspiration.
Some kind of spiritual connection, which, for myself includes the above, allows us to remember that we are part of a much larger order that we are held in which both enfolds and is the source of reconnection with what is true and isn’t for yourself.
Read books and material that energize you and say ‘yes’ to this longing and knowing of the world you want to be part of creating.
Deliberately develop your intuitive confidence. This can be done by paying attention to the sensations in your body and learning how they speak to you. It may feel awkward at first but eventually its second nature. You are the only one who knows what is true for You.
Our inherited families can be great sources of love, comfort and growth, but they may not ‘get you’. Find people – or even better – communities of people who say ‘yes’ to your journey back to self love and interconnection.
Equally important to all of the above – spend time in nature. Take in her beauty, abundance, balanced healing energy, truth, simplicity and abundance. Remember, you are part of a much larger family and community than the human ones you know. It is here we feel the truth that – ‘You are enough. You do enough. You have enough’, and all is well.
As you feel stronger and clearer in yourself you will be willing to take greater risks – leaving that job that hasn’t nurtured you for years; finally addressing those patterns in your relationship that seem to be sucking out the life-force of your relationship. Your health becomes a priority but not an obsession. To fulfill your joy and destiny (these being the same thing) requires that you care for your body. You begin to take the steps needed to create a lifestyle that makes you feel good inside. Where work is no longer ‘work’, but your joy and gift to your community.
Of course, when you step out of the cultural indoctrinations and reclaim your life, you don’t know where you will end up. But then, even within the industrial story of today, there is no certainty. Now even less than ever. It requires developing trust in oneself and the larger order in which you are held. It requires courage and commitment, a great sense of humor and a vision of the world that you want to be part of creating. The trust comes with time and experience, the courage follows and the new world starts to emerge right now and here.
Blessings and peace on your journey!
Lorenna
Founder: Shamanu: Earth Wisdom Teachings